It seems to me that in a particular way the Lord is calling you to in your marriage is the a particular grace of joy. To radiate the joy of God’s love for us and the joy of the gift of each of you to each other and the way that fulfils your humanity.
This is not a massive demand the Lord asks of you. You can do it. Because this is what you are made for. Every human being is made for happiness. And every human being can find happiness in the Creator from whom they came and to whom they are destined and in whose image we are made.
It is also possible for you to rejoice in marriage because this is what marriage is. Marriage is a joy. It is a great happiness. I’m not saying there are not the times of suffering in marriage because of course there are because there is still evil in the world. But one thing that is certain and can never change is that you will always have so many more reasons for joy in your married life then you will in suffering. By joy I don’t mean you have to force yourself to be happy clappy smiley face all the time. By joy I do mean that joy that you can always return to, which lies at the very basis of your heart ever since Jesus drew you into his Resurrection at baptism. Since no one can ever undo their baptism, no one too can destroy that fundamental redemption tattooed onto your soul, the Holy Spirit himself, who is alive and continually burning.
So it is interesting that the words the Lord has chosen to speak to you on your wedding day call you to joy, and provide three keys to living this as a married couple.
The first key is to praise the Lord. Praise the Lord always – and concretely, fix a time where each day you can praise the Lord together. Every Christian is called to daily praise. We take this time because our time of praise of the Lord that day informs the optic in which we live out all the rest of that day. Use it as an emergency backup especially in times of darkness. Praise opens our hearts to the Lord, the fact that the Lord is always there with me, the fact that he has all things in his hands and so ultimately there is really nothing to worry about, and the fact that the Lord is present in each of the others. In marriage it opens up our heart to a greater compassion to whatever my spouse is living – and so to an ever stronger unity.
Second thing: let the Lord love you. This also is a key to a marriage. For love, for us limited sinners, is not so simple. Taking time each day to let the Lord love you, is to take time to receive his love for you. The Lord’s love blows away our insecurities and wounds. And if I have taken time to receive the Lord’s love that day, then even when I feel my own love has run out my love still does not stop because it continues into supernatural love, where I love the other with the Lord’s love.
Finally: to be married is to be sent on mission. This is is what the Lord told you in the Gospel: You did not choose me, no, I chose you; and I commissioned you to go out and to bear fruit, fruit that will last. Your marriage is not just about you. Just like the mutual laying down of the lives of the persons’ of the Trinity for the other persons is lifegiving, so, in this sacrament, the Lord transforms your mutual gift of each for the other that of itself it is lifegiving. Guard your hearts and help each other unceasingly to lay down your lives for each other, your children, and every person, especially the poor. In this way you will unceasingly give life to the world.
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